Pre-framing is developing a pattern for success as a prerequisite to achieving it. You may not realize it, but you have been pre-framing your children since before they were born. Mothers who take prenatal vitamins, get regular check-ups, and do not smoke or drink during pregnancy do so because they want their child to be healthy. You are pre-framing your child for a healthy life.
Every step of a child’s development—from the first word and step, to preschool, to elementary school to high school to college—is pre-framing for the next stage of their life. You teach them good manners and habits early in life so that they can apply them later. They build upon the skills they have learned in school with each progressing grade to improve their intelligence. You lay the framework for the next step. You take advantage of the present to ensure that your child has a successful future.
Think about the choices you have made in raising your children. Have you set up a college fund? Did you make sure they went to the best school available? Have you taught them basic skills that they will build on as they grow? These are all examples of how parents are pre-framing their children for success in life.
Compare pre-framing to building a house. Without a strong foundation, everything built on the house will eventually collapse. But if the foundation is strong, then the structure built on top of it will be secure. This is why it is important to take the learning process in steps, teaching the basics first before moving on.
Pre-framing can be applied to almost any aspect of your child’s life. The earlier you start, the easier it will be for your child to build on what you have given them. Pre-framing your children makes practicing a habit. Whether it is martial arts, a musical instrument, a sport or an academic subject, constant practice can only improve your child’s skill.
“You don’t run 26 miles at five minutes a mile on good looks and a secret recipe,” said Frank Shorter, after he won the Gold medal at the 1972 Olympics marathon. In the same way, you can’t expect your child to be good at something the first time they do it, nor can they be made to expect that of themselves. You can’t wait for success to fall into your lap. You have to earn tomorrow’s success today.
How can you help your child achieve this? By letting them know that quitting is not an option. If your child makes a commitment, whatever it may be, it is important to make sure they follow through on any goals he or she has set. Allowing children to bail our early sends the message that it’s okay to give up on a goal. It may set a precedent so that they think they can give up on anything, and that behavior won’t serve them well later in life when they pursue a romantic relationship, educational advancement or a career.
Reminding the child of the goal at every stage of the game is pre-framing and helps keep him or her motivated. Motivate your children to do the right things now so that their vision of the future becomes a reality. The more preparation, the smoother the sailing when future challenges show up.
All this preparing for the future can trap people into forgetting about all of the great things in the present. As each stage of like slowly morphs into the next, don’t forget to recognize the goals and milestones reached. By celebrating the goals your child has reached, they will not only feel good about themselves now, but will be motivated to continue setting and reaching goals for the rest of their lives.
Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=134220&ca=Parenting
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